Got the Time?

I think the most perplexing social issues I have ever come across were not issues in which one would take a step back and say, "Wow, this is so complicated that I don't even know where to start", but rather, the simple issues... the issues in which there doesn't initially seem to be a problem... yet one emerges.

Take for a quick example, the issue of social anxiety.
Social anxiety in itself, is a very complicated issue. But for the average person who does not entirely lack empathy and imagination, it's fairly easy to rationalize something like that. You may not know a person's exact reasons for being that way, but what you do know is their general issue and what it encompasses, and therefore, you can make a bit of sense out of behaviour that would otherwise have completely thrown you for a loop.
Yet when there doesn't seem to be any problem, we are left a hell of a lot more confused than we would have been otherwise.

The strangest phenomena, (in my humble opinion) are the people who have absolutely no concept of time whatsoever. They have no idea what time it is, how long something will take them to do, they easily lose track of their entire day, they have trouble setting a time to meet, or, if they actually do set a time to meet, they are always late, and without any sort of explanation. These people completely and totally boggle my mind.

Now, before those of you know actually know me get bent out of shape, I will throw out a disclaimer and readily admit that I am no human watch myself. My biggest downfall is that I get so wrapped up in whatever it is that I'm doing, that I lose track of what time it is. But, so long as there is a clock, a watch or  radio around me somewhere, I am at least somewhat aware of the time. I am especially aware if I remember that I have a previous engagement. It isn't often that I've left a person hanging for longer than half an hour, and if I have, it's been due to some sort of calamity, be it traffic or a last minute poopie diaper.
*(This reminds me, I really MUST invest in a cell phone. How much easier it would be if I could simply call a person to tell them I'm running late!!)*


So let's get on with it, shall we?!


Today, I had the strangest experience... an experience odd enough that it prompted me to write about it. Seeing as my Facebook status will only accommodate a certain amount of letters and that I tend to be very longwinded when I muse via keyboard :D

It was all regular enough to begin with; I received a phone call from a (fairly new) friend  the day before yesterday. He wanted to know if I would like to get together for coffee the next day (yesterday). I accepted, and we loosely planned for sometime in the afternoon, and that he would call me later. I didn't wait up, as I'd heard through the grapevine that he was somewhat notorious for being time-mismanaged. That night around ten, he called. We briefly chatted, and made what I thought were definite plans for the next day (today). He told me he would call around ten-ish, and then we'd figure out what time to meet.

This morning, he dutifully called, at nine instead of ten. I took this to mean that he was serious about getting together. He told me he had plans that morning, and that he would call me later and we'd meet up sometime in the afternoon. Okay, not exactly a concrete time, but afternoon only goes on so long, so I figured that coffee would happen at some point.
So, I carried on around the house, always keeping an ear open for the phone. Time went by quickly as always, and soon, it was after lunch and getting to be around the time I figured I could at least expect a phone call.

So....1 pm came.... then 2 pm.... 3 pm.... and on and on. All the while, I kept the kids somewhat entertained, and loitered about the house, not accomplishing all that much, and whenever asked when we were leaving, I would say "soon, soon. We're just waiting for a phone call!"
Finally, just before six, I decided to call him to see where in the hell he was at! He answered and said "I'm just driving into town now, I'll give you a call in a bit." and that was that.

At that point, I wondered if I was just being blown off. I decided not to wait any longer, and took the kids out to play for a few before I started dinner. But not ten seconds after I had the first little squirmer shoed, he called back. Curious....
Not about to waste any more time, I asked him right away if we could switch our plans to a dinner, since it was dinner time, he was nearly to town and we were all fairly hungry. He told me that he was at his friend's place (a mutual friend of ours) and that he was having dinner with them! He told me he would call me after he was finished his dinner.
Perplexed, I sat down on the step and tried to make sense of it all. Slightly irritated that my entire afternoon was wasted when I could have gone out with my uncle (who called not half an hour after this guy this morning inviting me out....).
I decided not to brood about it, but rather to treat the kids and myself to dinner out. So off to Subway we went!

Being that I have two little ones and a somewhat hectic life at times, I get that sometimes plans change. That's fine! It happens to us all. But usually when plans change, we inform whoever is waiting for us so that they can continue on with their day! The thought process behind this guy must be virtually non-existent! What baffles me ever further is that this is no dummy we're talking about. The guy is actually quite smart, well spoken, well mannered (besides being on time, that is.....) well dressed and well educated. Not the usual suspect for such behaviour, or so it would seem.

Well, we arrived home at seven, and I was sure that if he had called that I'd missed him by then.. it had taken me a bit to get the kids out of the car, fed, cleaned up and back into the car, and home again and it was already after seven. I checked my call display, but noted he hadn't called yet. So I sent my son out to play until bedtime and hung out with my sleepy daughter. At seven thirty, I decided to give him a call and see if it wouldn't be better for us to come to the mutual friend's place. He lives quite close, he has an extra bedroom, and I could set up the playpen for my little one so that they can go to bed, and perhaps we could all have a games night, and at least have a fun evening! My husband and I did that on a number of occasions in the past, it was our usual arrangement for whenever we'd go over there.

Well wouldn't you know it, he didn't answer. I called our mutual friend, seeing as they were having dinner together, and I was told by his roommate that neither of them were there. Not sure what was going on, I asked if the fellow in question had even been there. "Oh yeah, they just left to go out for dinner."
So he had presumably hung out there for that entire hour and half before going out to eat! Keep in mind that the plan was to go out and have coffee. Now it was seven thirty, half an hour before my kids were to go to bed!
At this point I was extremely irritated. I MUST be being blown off, but this is not a manor in which I would have assumed I'd been blown off. Usually when someone blows you off, they just don't show up, or call, or anything. So if he was trying to blow me off, why on earth would this dude string me along all morning, all afternoon and into the evening if he really didn't want to get together? He was, after all, the one who had initiated all of this to begin with!!

The craziest part of it all came just after nine this evening. After the no-answer, I gave up and finished off the evening, bathed the kids, read them some stories and put them to bed. I had been downstairs for all of two minutes when the phone rang.
Guess who?! Not a WORD about our missed plans, or anything for that matter. He acted as if nothing was out of order, and asked me how my day went! I felt like telling him that my day didn't go... I spent most of it waiting for HIM! But, I managed to keep my tact about me, and I answered "Oh...... it went...." figuring he'd get the hint, but alas, he did not.

Now here's the kicker! Just when I thought he would conclude our strange conversation with a "well have a good night, then.", he asked me what I was up to tomorrow! He told me "I could call around eleven and we could make plans!"

*facepalm*

So let me close in saying that this world is full of all kinds of strange and mysterious people, (none more so than this fellow), and while they confuse the CRAP out of us, life without these colorful characters would be predictable, monotonous and over all very dull indeed, and we would have no interesting stories to tell :)